Agnieszka Chylińska is one of the most expressive and controversial Polish artists. Over the years, she has become accustomed to spectators and listeners with their unconventional appearance and way of expressing their thoughts. She recently showed herself another nomination and released a CD Pink punkfor which she expressed the anger she has accumulated in recent years.
Supports album premiere a moving interview that resembles some kind of psychoanalysis. Chilina invited to the studio Cuba Wojewódzki, Edward Miszczak and Marcin Prokopto which she spoke honestly about what was happening in her soul. This is undoubtedly the most serious and most frequent Chylinska interview that she has given throughout her career, and she himself admits that the most important to her.
Agnieszko admits that she has always tried to meet some expectations, including her last place. She quoted m.in. disk example guilty what she recorded to get recognition from her older brothers – no results.
I always started to blame myself, I can not do anything for myself, and I never could she admitted.
At one point, the vocalist believed that putting "housewives" and "Polish mothers" would give her the desired peace. However, this did not happen.
This is not my world, I really wanted to be him, but he does not. I really wanted to be normal and I really wanted to be at home, and the hardest thing I wanted to be happy in this house – she said. There are times when I like myself as a mother, and when they are not really. I'm not perfect mom. (…) I'm mostly absent she pained. (…) I very much believed that I could enter the standard world. I did not understand the fact that such a life that we call normal, healthy, that this is not my story. I do not give advice.
Agnieszka reminds us of the beginning O.N.A.when the brutal world of grown men disrupted it from girlishness and naivety.
Small, brutal environment, the worst it can be. And it was all in such a sauce – very military, brutal, strong, cruel and spicy. Defense price. My parents do not know what happened to this day. My colleagues were brutal – You had to play and sing the best, 100 percent were waiting for me, and they were already 20 years old. It came to me without a filter. I am surrounded by people who were busy haji and not caring for her psyche from this man and you will see whether she will go or not. Pfirst depression, unsuccessful suicide attempts, they were the first O.N.A years.. I felt like I was going through this dream that I came up with that I got through – says Chilinskaya. 18 years old was too early I was destroyed, damaged, rozpie * dolena, this alcohol, drugs, guys – it was too soon.
The star greatly grieves parents that at that moment they returned from her because they were upset that she left school.
I did not know what to do with all this, suddenly there is money, suddenly I'm cool … I have dragged a ticket from my parents – after my mother, I was an artist from a burning theater, and my father was very disappointed. I could not understand that they do not support me. I had a full complex, I needed to call from my mother, who said, "Daughter, you can do this". I've lived with this fuel all the time. Still, I have to prove something to someone to tell someone that it's worth my love, I am worthy to trust – says Agnieska, adding that to this day she has given her mother platinum records and she is never completely satisfied and reminds her of leaving school.
In the interview, Chylinska also asked about the profession of love, which shone over her later life.
I once gave my heart to someone who made a steak from it And maybe that's why today I have a problem with confidence, with opening and with the thought that I should be well responded to the slogan "I Love You". When it comes to closeness, I'm gone. (…) It was sku * wysyn. I was 18 when I moved a very mature boy who looked at me as a mountain and it also influenced my life story about a woman I thought to myself: "I'm at * Dollar, if I come up with such simple questions as love, trust, my virginity, I do everything with the guy who treats it upwards, it turns into thinking – who am I that he treated me the same way? What am i worth – says Agnieszka.
The star does not hide his thoughts about suicide.
God, I beg you to live the day. (…) Life is a different color, but sometimes it is too much black you have the choice either to ask for death or to go tango, or write a song about it and talk with time (…) If it were not my interest in life, then I would have gone a long time. If not that I'm so curious about what to do next to the curve, if that does not mean that I have such wonderful children … (…) The demons circling around my head are brutal, compelling, decisive, prosecutors, and I have no lawyer in my head. – says the singer.
After all, Chylyńska talked about him – now very true – to his relationship with God.
Now I am an outsider coming to God I come as dishonestly, and I ask, "Do you love me so badly, selfishly, inspired, doing everything that is bad, whine? Do you love me like that?" I came to God and said to him: "I eat everything, sit down, do not say anything, love me" – the artist ends the interview.